you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
