I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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