She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
