we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i need to put some appletini on your dick
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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