One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
