Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
