Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
