there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
