Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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