look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
