everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
