it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
