I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm like, not good at living.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
