well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
