He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
