4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
