And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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