being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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