guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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