I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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