I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
