we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
