I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize