I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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