mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize