Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
