so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
and you fell through a lawn chair
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