its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
