i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
