Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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(847): View more from Illinois

Do vagina's smell?

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(573): View more from Missouri

Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.

(573): View more from Missouri

I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him

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(678): View more from Georgia

I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.

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