I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do vagina's smell?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
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So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.