It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay