i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
