You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
