i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
