Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize