i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
