Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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