I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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