dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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