Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
