is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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