Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
