He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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