i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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