One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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