why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
