I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
