just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
