That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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