I wanna bring you to show and tell
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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