You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
