I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
