i just wanna soil my oats bro
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's blow job season.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
