the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
