More tranny stories later!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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