physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
