We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
