yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize