before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
