he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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